#[lee lee know voice] surPRISE. a SEER

[telomirage]

jonnit's enthusiasm is so endearing

[istansquirrels]

Her | Lee know - Chapter 1.

Reality isn't what we always believe, Because myths also have some truth behind them. The story of a girl born to a forbidden duo, that would either bring chaos or peace to the entire universe. But what happens when she meets the one destined to guide her on her way above.

''Born from the union of the forbidden, she is the one upon which the fate of the entire universe rests. She holds the power to either unleash chaos or bring peace, but first, with proper guidance she must find her way back to her celestial home to shield against the evil forces."

Years ago a prophecy was made by ancient seers stating the future of the princess of the realm of angels and demons. It was a prophecy that made all seven realms jolt up with fear. It stated that the daughter of the forbidden duo, the king of demons and the queen of angels, a mixed breed with powers that rivalled the gods themselves, will shake up the whole world.

Her existence posed a threat to both the angelic and demonic realms for she had powers that nobody could dream of and the Devil, himself was after her unnatural powers. To prevent any chaos, the queen had to send the child to Earth to keep her away from any supernatural beings or ways.

For years, Astoria Hale lived among humans, growing up in a quiet town, Elderville. The princess of the two realms was born in a sweet middle-class family. She lived on Earth along with her mortal parents and elder sister, Mia. Astoria or Yeri as she was called by her parents, being the troublemaker she was, had often done things that no one could do or explain, her family who had no idea that she was a rare being, half-demon, and half-angel, always said that she must be hallucinating.

Yeri had always thought she was somehow different from the rest, but the truth of her identity remained a well-guarded secret.

                                    .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Yeri had always been a sweet and cheerful girl but from the inside, she was just as cunning and devious as one can ever be. She was a beauty just like her mother but she always seemed to get in trouble just as her father used to. She had traits of both her parents, whom she had never met.

Yeri had an unshakable belief in magic for she always used to fantasize about going on her own magical adventures. But one day, something happened which she couldn't explain or dismiss as mere fantasy.

On her fifth birthday, Yeri was sitting on a couch too exhausted from all the dancing she had done during the party. Due to the exhaustion, she was extremely thirsty but no one was around to get her water. After spotting a glass of water on the table in front of her, she tried to bend and reach the glass but was not able to since it was kept too far away. Finally giving up, she laid back stretching her hand as if the glass would magically get transported there. But to her surprise it did, the glass started to move in her direction as she kept her arm open towards it.

Surprised, Yeri ran to her mother, forgetting all about getting tired and drinking the water from that glass.

"Mommy look, look what I did!" said Yerin, jumping on her mother's back. "Wha-what did you do now?" asked her mother who seemed to be taking her shoes off. Her mother listened carefully to her younger daughter trying to explain whatever she had done a few moments ago, laughing internally at her silliness. "Sweetheart, you must be imagining things; there is no such thing as magic. But if you believe in it, who knows perhaps you are a princess", her mother replied, her voice tinged with amusement as she spoke to her delusional daughter. "There is no such thing, you dummy" Interrupted her elder sister, Mia who just happened to be listening to their conversation. ''Shut up, you know nothing" Said Yeri, her face flushing with annoyance as they continued to bicker "Now you two, don't fight and go to bed. It's already very late." Their mother interjected attempting to calm her daughters down.

That night, Yeri stayed up thinking of all possible theories of how that glass moved. Little did she know that she had done it herself.

           .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. follow pls xx

Chapter-2

[milkypompon]

𝕄𝕪 𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕡𝕚𝕖𝕔𝕖 | Zuko x Reader

𝕀𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖 | In Ba Sing Se, Zuko stumbles into Y/N, an artist. 

𝔸𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣'𝕤 ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖 | Thank you to my lovely Anon for requesting this! It's been sitting in my inbox gathering dust for a bit because I've been so busy with moving into a new house. Here we are now!! I’m still slowly trying to get back into writing, so please take it easy on me.

The morning dew of Ba Sing Se adorned the growing grass along the stone paved ground. With each step closer to the well-known Jasmine Dragon tea shop, Y/N’s brushes and paints rattled inside their bag slung lazily about their shoulder. The chirping of the birds was drowned out by the early bustle of the city. But the sight of the sky wasn’t one that could simply be ignored. 

Without a second thought Y/N plopped themselves down in the middle of a street gorged with rolling carts carrying products cultured and collected by the stocky owners who heaved it around. Y/N earned looks of confusion and occasional glances of annoyance as they blocked the vendors and passer-byers.

But how? How could these people ignore the early white rays of the sun slowly catching hues of yellow as it languidly reached down onto those who lived among the earth. Reaching and stretching with open arms to feel its warmth. The heat enough to satiate the chill breeze that pricked their unclothed arms. 

The bristles of the brush was damp with the colors resembling the scenery set in front of Y/N. They glided it along the block of paper tottering on their thigh. 

Only the sound of the fraying brush swirling in ever-changing water could be heard by them. 

Only the sight of the endless sky that lay behind the glistening sun could be seen by them.

“WATCH OUT!” A gruff voice shouted and chanted the same two words that came threateningly closer to Y/N’s ears. 

A horse-bear with tattered reins hung about its large frame losely, growling and galloping at an unmatched speed. Before Y/N could even set down their painting, a body slammed into their back, sending them both tumbling forward into a cabbage cart with a body-straining thud. 

Y/N groaned, their hands clenching and unclenching subconsciously to feel their surroundings. 

“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?” A black haired boy towered over them. He threw his arms into the air in frustration.

“Yeah! What he said!” Spat the cabbage vendor in annoyance.

Y/N slowly propped themselves up with their elbows. Their eyes grew as wide as the cabbages as they took in the unraveling scene.

“MY ART SUPPLIES!” Y/N scrambled up, almost slipping on their own two feet. They took a quick step forward, but was stopped by a strong grip around their wrist.

Y/N’s head whipped back in surprise, they were met with amber eyes hidden behind furrowed brows and tousled hair. “Not even a thank you?” He cocked up his eyebrow. 

“I- Sorry! I mean thank you!” Y/N craned their neck down in embarrassment, they could feel an intense heat crawling up their body. 

He awkwardly patted the top of Y/N’s head. “Oh- okay, no need for formalities,” the boy hummed.

Y/N slowly straightened up, suddenly feeling small under his gaze. “Let me at least thank you with a meal!” they chirped.

“How about my apology meal for the cabbages you ruined!” The cabbage vendor peeked over the boy’s shoulder to give Y/N an exasperated look. 

“Usually, people ask for my name before they take me out on a date,” he chuckled teasingly.

“N-no!” Y/N’s hand shot up in a halt motion. “I mean unless you want it to be…” they muttered to themselves.  

A faint dusting of pink spread onto his cheeks, “Well, I certainly wouldn’t mind it!”

Y/N, completely enthralled by his softening features, forgot about their art supplies sitting in a wrecked state on the stone floor. 

A quite pitiful sight.

He looked past Y/N, his eyes dropping down, “Oh, no… your painting!” Without much thought, the boy slipped his hand through Y/N’s to guide them to the horse-bear accident.

Y/N stiffened at the sudden contact, which wasn’t ignored by him. He turned his head back and dropped his hand, “S-sorry! Just wanted to show you what happened…”

The gentle warmth of his hand gave Y/N a sensation of warmth, it left as quickly as it came. They pulled their arm and crossed it behind their back. “Well, the damage has been done, huh?” Y/N smiled sadly as they poked the snapped brushes with the tip of their boot.

He crouched down to reach for Y/N’s painting, now mangled up into scratchy bits. Before the boy could take a good look at it, Y/N swung themselves in front of him in an attempt to hide their unfinished work. But, his nimble fingers flung it up high above his head before they could snatch it

.

“Hey! That’s mine!” Y/N puffed out their cheeks.

“I know, I know. I just wanted to see what you were painting-”

“Nothing special!” they managed to grip his arm and grab the painting.

The pair stood up. Y/N cradled their work in their hands, a deep sigh escaped their lips. The boy peered from the side. Catching his peeping eyes, Y/N hugged it into their chest.

Zuko scratched the back of his neck, “Y’know just because it seems ruined in your eyes, it doesn’t mean that it’s not a masterpiece to mine.”

Y/N mumbled a “thanks” before turning around to meet his bright eyes. “I’m Y/N by the way…” they said in a small voice, recollecting the early moments of their first encounter.

“Lee,” he offered a hand for Y/N to shake, but instead, Zuko snatched the painting from their arms and tucked it inside his robe. “I’ll take this for compensation!” He grinned light-heartedly.

Y/N rolled their eyes, “I don’t know why you’d want that, but alright… Anyways, the offer still stands for the meal just because I’m feeling generous today.”

Zuko smirked, “Are you feeling extra generous to officiate it into a date?”

They quickly averted their eyes and mumbled, “I thought it was already implied.”

-

“Knock, knock!” Y/N chirped as they approached the Jasmine Dragon dimly lit, signaling their closure for the night.

The sound of clambering dishware and squeaky shoes echoed through the tea shop. There were no people save for the old man at the opposite end of the green carpet, who greeted Y/N with a small wave. Zuko, who creased down his robe, approached them at a hasty speed.

“H-Hey!” He said a little strained. The old man elbowed Zuko’s side, earning him a groan.

The pair bowed at Y/N. “You must be my nephew’s date tonight. My name is Mushu, but you may call me Uncle!” He gave the young teenager a bright smile. 

“Well, I’ll leave ya at it, Nephew!” Iroh cackled as he held his belly. Zuko groaned once again. “And, close up for the night will ya?” He tossed a single golden key with the Jasmine Dragon logo engraved into the head of it.

The pair watched the old man trot to the wooden doors, closing it, but leaving a gap big enough only for them to see his smirk. 

“BYE UNCLE!” Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose.

Y/N giggle into their hand, “You must be really close with Uncle Mushu, huh?” 

Zuko looked up at them, his face softened as he subconsciously studied their face. He stared at how their lips turned up at any word he said and the way their nose scrunched when they laughed. But what interested him the most was when Y/N’s cheeks changed   just the slightest hue whenever they smiled. 

“Y’know this isn’t much of me repaying you if you’re gonna be serving me your tea,” Y/N tilted their head.

Zuko mindlessly slipped their hand into Y/N’s, making them tense up once again.

“I- Sorry, it’s just your hand is so soft and it feels cool when I touch it because mine are always warm all the time. Are mine sweaty? Maybe it’s just getting hot-” Zuko pulled back his hand.

Y/N caught his eye and slipped their hand into his. “Don’t worry, it feels right as it should be.”

“W-Well, going back to what we were talking about…” Zuko led Y/N to a table for two and pulled out a finely carved wooden chair that could sit even the King himself. “How about you pay me in a different way?”

The pair both realized what Zuko implied, causing his face to seer over. He slammed his hands down, making Y/N flinch, “Just, uh, wait here!” He trotted to the back of the tea shop.

Y/N leaned into their hands, their elbows on the table supporting their dropping frame. They groaned in exasperation. 

I thought my first encounter with this boy set the highest bar of my awkwardness, but now I think this ‘date’ brought it up even higher… People make it so easy in those Ba Sing Se cartoons I watch with freakishly large eyes.

Fumbling footsteps approached Y/N, who creased their robe down and clasped their hands together onto their lap. Zuko held a rectangular box wrapped in brown paper. Setting it down on the table, he pulled out a chair across from Y/N.

Zuko rested his chin on his hand, he looked at Y/N with glimmering eyes. A look of interest and adoration seeped through his face, anyone could’ve seen it, whether he was hiding it or not. He’s only given this face to his Uncle, whom he respected and loved with a full heart.

His long fingers tucked a tuft of hair behind his ear nervously. “What are you waiting for? Open it!” Zuko huffed, “Guess I’ll open it myself!” He slipped his hand over the package.

Still stunned at the unexpected gift Y/N received, they took no action until they heard the first rip of the wrapping paper. “No! I can do it!” Y/N shouted a little too loudly, “I mean, I’ll open it.” Hastily, they tore it apart, the clambering of wooden handles of new brushes and a soft thud of a watercolor block and paints echoed through the tea shop.

Zuko grinned at the sight of Y/N’s face as it glowed with happiness. It looked as if he’d received a new set of art supplies as well.

A sudden wave of guilt washed over Y/N, their upturned smile quickly diminished.

“Huh… What’s wrong? Are these not the ones you had? Did you want a different brand-” Zuko scooped up the art supplies, which was stopped by Y/N’s gentle hand.

“I can’t accept this! Or at least let me pay for it,” Y/N bargained.

Zuko set the gift down, offering them a soft smile. “This is what I was talking about earlier. Will you paint something for me? Could be anything you like.”

“Y-you’d really like that?” Y/N sheepishly asked.

“More than anything…” Zuko cautiously entwined his fingers into Y/N’s, this time Y/N returned it with a gentle squeeze.

“Well, then how about I paint you?” 

Zuko was stunned. He rambled, “M-me? Why? I’m not the most pleasing to look at to be honest. I’ve got a scar that’s just so distracting… That’s why I’m growing out my hair-”

Y/N stood up from their seat and leaned over the table to meet his face, bringing a hand to caress Zuko’s jaw. Y/N gave a warm peck of their lips onto the corner of his right eye. 

His mouth gaped open as they pulled back and situated themself on the seat. 

Y/N held Zuko’s gaze, “A wise boy once told me that just because something seems ruined in your eyes, it doesn’t mean that it’s not a masterpiece to mine.”

𝔼𝕟𝕕𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖 | Okay, Holy Cow. I’m actually really happy with how this fic turned out bc I’ve been too physically and mentally tired lately?? I had a hard time starting this, but I decided to take the safe route and start with scenery.

Were the descriptions of scenery too much? Was the interaction between Y/N and Zuko too short-lived? Let me know!

[My taglist and links to most things are acting WONKY at the moment, if you’d like to be tagged on anything, SEND AN ASK]

[yourdeepestfathoms]

just an original story snippet because that anon i got yesterday flattered me (and because i love my girls and my idea)

  “The moon will fall February 17th, 4350--”

  “Oh dear. THAT’S an embarrassing situation to be in. Better take the long way to class to avoid that--”

  “The sun will explode way before then, but I can’t see when it’s too blurry too blurry can’t see further--”

  “MY PARENTS ARE GETTING ME A PUPPY?! Oh shoot. I just ruined the surprise--”

  “A plague will come. A plague will come. A plague will come--”

  “I know the answers to the exam and my peers don’t, hehe--”

  “I know when my mother will die, but I don’t know how to save her. I can’t save her. When I try to save her, she dies--”

There are hundreds of voices in this room. Hundreds of people talking over each other, rambling silly teenage thoughts and dark prophets of the future, babbling and gibbering and chattering like noisy jungle birds. Listen to what I have to say, they whisper. Listen to what I Saw. But they aren’t listened to, no one listens, so they keep shouting over each other until it’s a din of conflicting comments and arguments.

The weird thing is, though...the voices didn’t come from any person. The only people in the room were Lee and Keaton, behind one of the doors, and Michael, wearing an old, ripped trench coat and pacing between two tables covered in wicked-looking knives, scissors in various sizes of huge, and wrinkled papers filled to the brim with information. None of them were speaking.

  “I should warn Olivia to not try out for the school musical, she’s just going to embarrass herself--”

Keaton began to tremble against Lee’s side. Her eyes are wide and glazed with terror. Lee followed her gaze, tilting ever so slightly around the door so she could see more inside, and froze.

Nearly-depleted bulbs cast dim, horror movie-like lighting across polished wooden shelves and carved out cubbyholes, and the jars full of disembodied tongues that hold them. The muscular remains of finished lives howl and thrash, repeating themselves ad infinitum, slapping the glass walls of their confines until they clank and jiggle. The stench of it is thick and ripe. A choir of dead voices vying for attention.

Lee nearly vomited. Keaton trembled harder, and she can see tears glinting in her multicolored eyes. How many times has she seen this scene in her visions? Could she still hear their thoughts without a brain to read from?

  “Oh, that’s it!!!” Michael suddenly roared. Lee flinched, but tightened her muscles to keep from hitting anything in her surprise. “Shut it!!”

He reared around to glower at a particularly rowdy group of tongues that were writhing so violently that their jars were about to topple right over. They don’t obey his command, they can’t, and continue to speak: “I make the team in soccer?! Oh my god--” “Mom and dad are getting a divorce--” “The fire alarm on Thursday won’t be a drill--” “John F. Kennedy will be shot on November 22, 1963--”

That last comment from a spongy, paler tongue on the top row of jars. It does damage to itself as it threw itself against aged glass.

  “Just take a breath, Michael,” Michael began to mutter to himself. He rubbed his temples with his middle and index finger. “It’ll all be worth it. This will all pay off soon. Just focus.”

  “DAVID IS CHEATING ON JESSIE?! OH THAT GODDAMN BITC--”

  “I can’t take this!!” Michael stormed out the door, his long trench coat fluttering darkly behind him like the wings of a black moth. Lee and Keaton wait for a minute, with Keaton confirming that he wasn’t coming back by listening to his receding thoughts, and then crept out into the room.

The smell was so much worse inside, like a mix of fresh rot and week-old decay. There was a certain humidity in the room, too, most likely to preserve the tongues, and it made the odor that much worse. Lee tried to breathe through her mouth, but the air was so thick with stench that she could taste decomposition on her tongue. She careened sharply to the left and vomited into a small black trash can- the most normal thing in the entire place.

  “Well,” She breathed out shakily. “He’s probably going to notice this.” She set the trash can down tentatively and turned to Keaton with a wry smile. “Is there any way that you could rewind to before we enter and warn me to NOT breathe through my mouth?”

Keaton didn’t answer. 

She’s staring intently at the wall of jars. Her cropped, coppery hair has gone all tufty and frizzy, as though the relentless noise around her has made it stand on end. She kept clenching and unclenching her fists like she thought this just was a bad dream or vision she could claw herself out of. But it was very, very real. And the next ear-piercing prophecy proved that.

  “I’M ADOPTED?! AND MOM AND DAD ARE GOING TO TELL ME AT THE CHRISTMAS PARTY?! ARE YOU SERIOUS--”

  “I didn’t know.” 

The whisper was mute beneath the din of cries. Lee moved closer to hear her young companion better, but didn’t ask her to repeat herself. Keaton looked up at her with terror in her eyes.

  “I didn’t know about this.” She said. “I didn’t see it.”

  “Ever?” Lee asked. “Not once?”

  “Not once,” Keaton confirmed. Her voice is painfully tight and she looked like she was about to spiral into a panic attack. “I didn’t know...”

She stepped forward slowly, cautiously, like she thought the tongues may suddenly grow bodies and attack her. She gently picked up a jar that held a soft pink tongue with a blue blemish over the bumpy expanse of taste buds, remnants of a blueberry slushy. It did wild flips in its confinements, fresh and sinewy as eels, squawking out things about boys her bad-at-love best friend was crushing on, but then went still when raised. It now sat silently at the bottom of the jar with its tip flicking patiently like the tail of a slithering snake.

  “I didn’t know her,” Keaton whispered. She really is shaking- the jar is being rattled so badly that Lee was afraid that she might drop it or it may completely shatter. Her sun-moon eyes are hazy with tears on the reflection against the glass.

Lee crept closer and peered over her shoulder. The tongue flicked its tip again, like it was addressing that she was there, that it knew who she was and it could spit out prophecies about her at any moment. At the top of its jar winked a small gold plaque that read: Hayley Grace Ross | Age: 17 | Best known for: Visions of an alternate universe where time runs backwards | Death: January 13, 2019 |

  “I didn’t know any of them.” Keaton choked out. She’s crying, now. She gently cradled the jar close to her chest with a haunted expression and the tongue inside squirmed its way against the glass like it was returning the embrace in a strange, but sad postmortem, disembodied way.

Lee gave her a saddened expression. She’s gotten quite good at comforting Keaton, but she knew not to pry right now. Not when she was so obviously shaken by this.

She turned, wanting to give the girl some space, and saw a jar on one of the several tables. It’s decorated, unlike the others, swathed with sparkling threads of silver and gold around the lid and studded with small sun and moon pendants. She picked it up and read the plaque, which looked like it had been recently shined: Keaton Morgan Fox | Age: 15 | Best known for: Very specific and clear visions into the future, perfected mind reading, time loops | Death: N/A |

It was empty.

There was no death date.

  “Beware the one born of the sun and the moon,” Whispered a wrinkly old tongue with cracks over its surface. “Seething with darkness and sparkling with anger.”

  “Awakened from the blood of an unwanted womb,” Chimed in another tongue that was missing taste buds. 

  “And drenched in the carnage of the futures she hides.” Murmured a third.

  “Beware the one born of the sun and the moon,” Said all the tongues together. “With too many secrets and too many eyes.”

Lee shuddered and turned to Keaton, finally realizing why she was so distraught.

They were standing in a room full of the severed tongues of murdered Seers. 

She was surrounded by her own kind, dead and trapped forever.

[lightsaberwieldingdalek]

Big long list of all the fic stuff I’ve got, for @ruelukas22 ‘s perusal (or anyone else if they’re interested.

Fic I’ve got lots of notes on

* FFXV- Ardyn+Gil=Daughter. A SI fic of me keeping on dying. Also has afab Ardyn split between a culture where the first child inherits, and one where the first son inherits, and lots of Solhiem world building

* Avatar the last Airbender- Avatar Ty Lee. Lots of quick unhappy lives of the avatars till Ty Lee, granddaughter of an air refugee accidentally bends air.

* Naruto & MCU- Blotched Reincarnation. The Avengers are supposed to reincarnate in Naruto as the Rookie 13+kids, but something went horribly wrong, and now they’re all ghosts trying to parent these kids , because their actual parents aren’t doing a very good job, are they?

* Worm- Family Quest. Taylor Herbert does not have powers. What she does have is some very ... interesting relatives coming for Christmas.

* Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic- Many, Many Reasons Why The Endar Spire Is A Terrible Place To Work. Lisa is a pissed off semi-ex smuggler who’s serving on the Endar Spire, and nothing else.... Right?

* Batman- O Child of Gotham. An ordinary Gothamite teacher looks up a few things for her students, and stumbles across something far bigger than she knows.

* Bleach & Naruto- Urban Fantasy Kaguya. Kaguya has kept her sons hidden from their shinigami father for a long time, but his blood is starting to manifest in the twins.

* FFXV- Titan’s people. If all the other Astrals can patronise a people and place, why can’t this one.

* D&D- Amnesia D&D. In either a fantasy Au or with an actual d&d game, everyone wakes up completely mindwiped in a dungeon and have to work out who they are, what they can do, and why they were mindwiped.

* Naruto & Jurassic Park/World- Raptor Sakura. Sakura Harano, at 5 years old, ends up on the Dinosaur summoning contract. She then raises a pack of velociraptors.

* Naruto & Others- Infinite Loops style thing. Team 7 are bouncing from universe to universe trying to get home, waking up in other fandoms as other characters, and basically mucking about trying to get home.

* Naruto- Kaguya. Backstory of how Kaguya went from abandoned baby in a rice field, emperors concubine, pregnant woman on the run, and finally Goddess.

* Naruto- Mito Sensei. Mito Senju reincarnates, nearly gets taken into ROOT, and passes as boring, till Naruto is born as she becomes a teacher to take care of him. Then things get out of hand.

* Naruto- Seer Sakura. Sakura is a completely Done TM seer who is just trying to live, but the only way involves all these completely ridiculous people.

* Naruto- Zetsu is Best Uncle. Zetsu is mostly canon, but then sees the reincarnations of his nephews and decides that his Mum might like Grandkids to spoil. Things are surprising fluffy.

Things I only have the premise and a few sentences for

* Naruto & any fandom- Another Blotched Reincarnation. The same premise, but any other characters ending up as ghost-mentor.

* Mass Effect- Baby Prothian. The Beacon at the start of of Mass Effect 1 has a baby Prothian inside in suspended animation, and assigns Shepard as the new mum, plugging in required information to take care of a Prothian toddler at the same time as all the visions of destruction.

* Naruto- Happy Modern Sage Family. Fluffy AU where we follow adventures of the brothers Naruto and Sasuke, who are looked after by their old blind gran kayagua, and their sketchy uncle. Their dad is in a coma, and their other uncle works on the other side of the world but video chats sometimes.

* Harry Potter- Harry Potter’s got Voices in his head! Harry has a link to the afterlife in his head thanks to the killing curse, and gets raised by an eclectic collection of ghosts from all times and societies.

* Any Fandom- Horror is an outside Point of View. A story never from the point of view of the main character, who has travelled back in time to fix everything, and is a toddler showing impossible knowledge. It’s written like one of those “possessed child” horror movies.

* Mass Effect- Mass Effect Time Travel 1. The entire crew of the Normandy travels back in time- to a time when the most of them are 5 years. Que bafflement when a bunch of kids, a Prothian being relentlessly flirted with by a teenage asari and a baby krogan corner a spectre and yell at him that he mustn’t listen to the squid-robots.

* Mass Effect- Mass Effect Time Travel 2. Shepard time travels to the start of the game, and because of the conclusion of the games, is regarded by the enemies as a very small reaper. This makes the fights a lot easier but brings up some very awkward questions from her bosses. Also annoys some people on the citadel when none of the doors stay locked for her.

* Miraculous Ladybug & KHR or Game of thrones- tentative lining up the Miraculous with flame types and the gods of the seven.

* Naruto & Mass Effect- Hunting God Trees. The earth in Mess Effect is replaced with a post-canon Naruto world. They are appropriately ninja about how much info they give the Citadel council, and have been expected the return of Kaguyas species for over a century.

* Worm & Other Fandom- Queen Admin gets Adventurous. In either their death scene, or another do-or-die situation, a character from another fandom triggers with a power tailored (pun completely intended) to their situation, but still under the purview of Administration.

* Naruto & Other Fandom- Epic Sakura time. Just, an epic female character reincarnates as Sakura and kicks ass.

* Naruto & Dishonoured. Marked Sakura. During the Mission to Wave, Sakura is taken as a hostage/collateral/slave. She is then marked by the Outsider, fights her way out, and must hide her abilities from Konoha so she isn’t assumed to have a new bloodline and bred for it.

* Naruto- Sakura, Daughter of the Sage. Indra and Asura had a younger sister named Shashi. Zetsu killed her as an infant and kept doing so, keeping the remaining sibling out of balance and fighting. Due to the whole fourth dead and kyubi attack thing, he doesn’t find her as she’s being born- the only time he can track her- and the baby is named Sakura.

* Any Fandom- Urban Fantasy Police. an underfunded police station filled solely by supernatural beings -but none of them know that any of the others are non-human.

* Worm & Naruto- Shino cannot Flirt. Taylor Hebert, the big controller, has Shino ineptly trying to seduce her, and failing in hilarious ways.

* Naruto & Total Recall- How the hell do I have three separate ideas for this?! Naruto and/or Sasuke live in a near-future sort-of-dystopia, with a boring Job, like, I don’t know, Customer Service Rep. They see an ad for a memory implanting service called Total Recall. Go in and get a Fantasy package. This accidentally wakes up memories of being Hashirama/Madara and/or Asura/Indra, either as actual reincarnation or Brainwiped government super-soldiers. OR. Take the schwarzenegger movie, but instead tech implanting the false memories, its 1 or more of your preferred ninjas using genjutsu, dimensionally displaced by the power of backstory, and presumably also moonlighting as mob muscle. When Arnie freaks about the mind wiping, said ninja(s) restrain and get the whole story out of him. OR. Danzo gets in charge. He decides that the Uchiha and Uzumaki are too difficult to command. So, by the power of Sharigarm, he Wipes their memories and makes them think they were civilian Uchiha/Uzumaki bastards/kids of bastards who were taken to Konoha. He also get ROOT to “acquire” some actual ones from anywhere and messes with their heads too. He then proclaims that it is sad that that loyal shinobi and the traitor died fighting each other, and, Danzo then proclaims that to restore 2 of Konohas Greatest Clans, he has found as many descendants of them, and has instituted a plan to create a new generation of them(loyal to him of course). However many years later, a retired shinobi decides to teach the married couple of a Uchiha and an Uzumaki basic ninja skills till they can use that jutsu that temporarily sex-changes you so gay couples can have kids (because of course this blood obsessed culture will have that) So old shinobi is teaching married civilian Naruto and Sasuke. They accidentally break the mind wipe during “kai” training and get really, really pissed.

[thedeaditeslayer]

Bruce Campbell and What's Coming on Ash vs Evil Dead Season 3.

This interview features some moderate spoilers. Read at your own discretion. 

The legend himself speaks on what's next for Ash vs Evil Dead and how his career is about more than just blood and guts.

Ash vs Evil Dead is back, baby - and according to the people who made it, we're in for a party. First, you find out Ash has a surprise teenage daughter. What's up with that? Then there's that new biker guy who says he's a knight of Sumeria. Oh yeah? Where's your chain mail, Sir Loin of Pork?

Anyway, you still got the old regulars like Pablo and Kelly and Ruby, who looks smoking hot as a blonde. And there's Ash too, of course. Can't forget him. It's still his show...and he's still the king.

We sat down with Bruce Campbell, the legend behind Ashy Slashy, to find what else we can expect from Ash vs Evil Dead's twisted third year on television and how he keeps the role fresh after all these years.

Evil Dead is a couple years shy of its 40th anniversary mark. How do you think it’s transformed since then, and did you and Sam ever dream that the franchise would ever have the media presence that it has now?

Well you can’t really ever imagine it. We had so many problems with the first movie, we weren’t even sure we would even finish that. And then there was a great deal of time between each movie, so there wasn’t what you would call a lot of momentum exactly. The momentum kind of happened after Army of Darkness, the third Evil Dead, played.

Honestly, what people forget is the movie bombed and almost killed the franchise. So it took a lot of DVD reissues through the ‘90s, all the "Making Ofs", the behind the scenes stuff that really brought the DVDs back which created a lot more fervor at conventions, y’know, and people never stopped bugging us about it. So it really has been very organic and slow growing. It’s a slow-growing cancer.

It’s kind of a nice, profitable cancer though. So why is it that each installment of the Evil Dead franchise has its own tone and flavor? It’s like each one is from its own separate universe that has a different spin on what was already established.

I would say probably because of the distance between them. The first Evil Dead was 1979, so we did one in the ‘70s. The second one was in 1986, so we did one in the ‘80s. Army of Darkness was ‘91 when we shot it, so that was the ‘90s and then really it was not for 25 more years that we started the TV series so you can see how your sensibilities would change based on experience and just life and preferences. So I would attribute it mostly to that.

Will Ash vs. Evil Dead still be on the air when the 40th anniversary happens?

You tell me, seer of the future.

Eh...my crystal ball is out of juice right now.

There ya go.

How do you think season three stands in comparison to the first two seasons?

It’s better by a mile. We’re up to speed, we’re sort of getting our sea legs, our story is coming together. We’re gonna pay off a bunch of stuff this year with new characters, new stuff for Ash to do, new dynamics...he’s got a daughter...his father comes back to haunt him as a ghost. A lot of cool stuff. Some of the cast winds up in limbo at a certain point. There’s time travel...it’s bitchin’ season. Ash has a family so I think it’s really cool. It was exciting.

What do you contribute to any of the trademark gore gags or action sequences in the show? Do you hang out in the writers' room and toss around ideas? How does that work?

I don’t hang out. I’m too busy. So...basically I’m in on the jokes. They pitch me the ideas and stuff. I’ll let them know if it’s something I am not interested in doing or don’t want to do. Or, if it doesn’t make sense for how I actually do something, I encourage the writers to act it out in their crappy little writer’s room so that the fight makes sense. Fight scenes need to have a story. When you fight a monster, you’re not the only smart one. Ash would be just as tricky as them, and being inventive in how they defend themselves or attack.

The Deadites are very tricky but so is Ash. Never forget that Ash is just as tricky as the Deadites. I always try to keep the writers smart. Write smart; don’t write stupid, or easy, or repetitive.

What’s the secret to writing a good one-liner?

Don’t make it too many syllables.

Technically, that in itself is a one-liner.

It is.

There’s something about Ash Vs. Evil Dead that captures a certain atmosphere in the United States in this day and age so well. Is this intentional satire or does it just come with the territory of the character of Ash Williams in general?

Well, you can interpret what it means in modern sociology, but to us, we’re just telling Ash’s story which is mostly universal.

It is, I think that’s why it’s so successful as a TV series. I also think Ash vs. Evil Dead is successful because of Pablo and Kelly (and now Brandy), who have helped the franchise develop an emotional center that the feature films didn’t have.

I agree. There’s way more character resonance. There’s much more for people to get behind and involved. They can worry about Ash’s daughter, you see different side of Ash, you see a caring and protective side, you see Ash step up from his selfish nature and be more selfless. He’s a shitty father, no question about it. But what’s fun is to show him try to grapple with it. Try and know that he’s doing some bad shit as a father but he’s doing the best that he can under the circumstances.

That seems to be the big theme of season three, is it not?

More like ��family is everything." Family is all you really got.

Does this mean we can expect more Brock Williams this season?

Yep. Brock is back, played by the great Lee Majors, and I think he has more screen time this season because he comes back to give me advice.

Cheryl (Ellen Sandweiss) too, maybe?

No, I think she’s going to stay dead.

How do you continue to play Ash and not get annoyed with people who only want to see his character when they look at you?

I realize that people only like what they like, and they will only know you based on what they like. If you only like horror movies, then I’m your horror guy. You like westerns, people know me from something else. If you like spy shows, then people might know me from those. I’ve had to learn to not be offended by that because I’m actually more pigeonholed by fans than by my own industry. I’ve done a bunch of different stuff but fans like what they like and they only watch what they want to watch. They won’t follow an actor and I’ve found that my fans won’t follow me to everything that I do, they’ll do about two-thirds of it.

And there’s some people that like Burn Notice but can’t stand Evil Dead movies. It’s not their bag. So, for me, I just do my business.

Right. Jumping back to Evil Dead...just kidding. How do you play Ash after all these decades and still make it fun and interesting for yourself as an actor?

I can finally have the freedom to be the final arbiter of what comes out of Ash’s mouth. I’ve rewritten a lot of my own material, I hand my material over to the script supervisor. Normally there’s a big process you have to go through if you want to change your lines. Sometimes I’ll just hand out an Ash draft. I won’t change anything but my own dialogue.

So, I wanted to experience on time where I had that kind of freedom and that kind of creative say - and we have that now, and it’s gonna be really hard to give up.

Do you think that new showrunner Mark Verheiden captures the Ash voice better, since he wrote My Name is Bruce in 2007 and the comic adaptation of the first Evil Dead film in for Dark Horse in 2007?

Well, it certainly puts him more in the ballpark, but I warned all the writers that if you guys don’t step up, don’t be surprised by what you see in the dailies.

That’s important, and almost a Tom Baker kind of thing, whereas an actor you have to be trusted to contribute your talents and your contributions based on your instincts...especially if you’ve been playing a character for so long.

I’m the only guy who only knows how Ash would react in a certain situation. A new director who didn’t have any experience with it, they wouldn’t really know. It’s been fun. It’s been really good to delve back in and flesh this guy out.

Are you going to have more screen time with Lucy Lawless this year? Is there going to be more action between you two? Er, well, not that kind of action, but...

Interaction, I think is what you’re getting at. Yes, there will be a little bit more play with Ash and Ruby because she’s a little more officially “bad” this season, and I think from Ash’s perspective she needs to be dealt with once and for all.

If you could describe this season in one word, what would it be?

Game-changer.